A kind deed for the youngest member of the family

Recently I learned a lesson in motherhood. It's on-the-job training, so I tend to bumble quite often but as I learn I try to do better.

For years, when I had a toddler with a runny nose, I would grab a baby wipe to wipe their nose. It seemed like a good idea. Wash and wipe all in one. You know how you might get busy with chores for half an hour, or 45 minutes while the toddler is busy playing, and then when they come walking up to you again, arms stretched out wanting to be held, their face is all crusted with streaks of dried snot and shiny mucus while twin streams of green goo pour out of their nostrils. It's a scary sight. A simple Kleenex didn't seem to be sufficient. And we buy the baby wipes in bulk from Costco and nearly always have lots available. That was why I used a baby wipe.

Of course, my kids hated it and would scream and whip their head away trying to avoid getting their nose wiped.

I just figured all little kids hate having their nose wiped and putting a 1 year old in a headlock in order to wipe their nose is one of those parenting skills you have to learn.

Until... cough... one day a baby wipe was the nearest thing available for me to blow my own nose. Yee-owch. It stung badly. I mean, seriously, it stung! Then I knew that I should not have been doing that all these years to my poor children.

I knew that the best way to clean dried mucus off a child's face was a warm, wet washcloth. I had been resisting that because I didn't want to get snot on one of my washcloths. Now I realized: so what? They're easy to wash. If I run short I'll just go buy another $3 pack of cheap washcloths. Even I have $3 to spare, on occasion. But I can't wipe their noses with baby wipes anymore.

So now I have revised that aspect of my mothering.

Step 1: Gently wipe the excess mucus with a tissue.

Step 2: Squeeze out a clean, wet washcloth, and be sure to take a minute to let the water get nice and warm. Nobody wants their face scrubbed with a cold rag, plus cold water won't clean the dried stuff off as well. Gently clean off all the goo and dried mucus.

Step 3: Put Vaseline on the chapped skin under the nose, and the chapped cheeks. (Why do kids with messy runny noses always get chapped cheeks? I haven't figured it out yet.)

I found that if I do this 3 or 4 times a day, the rest of the time an ordinary Kleenex is enough to keep baby's face clean when after a few minutes he needs his nose wiped yet again.

The revised method makes Eric happy. No headlocks required. I think probably most kids don't enjoy having a gooey, green messy nose and chapped skin, except when you're only 1 year old you can't do much about it by yourself.

That got me thinking about how doing a simple task to help a little child can be such a beautiful act of love. Because they can't help themselves, small acts of service are opportunities to show love. Like wiping a baby's nose, and being nice about it.

Or when a child wakes up cold and miserable from wetting the bed and with help, 10 minutes later they are wearing clean pajamas and climbing back into a bed freshly made up with clean sheets and blankets, happy again.

Or a petulant, whiny child who is given a snack and read a story on their parent's lap.

Or when a 1 year old who has been walking around inside on a winter's day wearing nothing but a droopy wet diaper, is picked up, changed into a fresh diaper and dressed neatly in clean clothes and socks.

These are ordinary but beautiful things. I love them.

Little deeds of kindness,

Little words of love,

Help to make earth happy

Like the heaven above.

-Julia Abigail Fletcher Carney